Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
