we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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