I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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