Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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