so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
