sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize