im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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