I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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