You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
