So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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