Did you just see the Batmobile???
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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