when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize