i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
