@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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