420 ftw
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
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