i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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