Umm I'm too high to move.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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