He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Someone came in the potted fern
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
