apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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