Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
