Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
