I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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