you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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