When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
