Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
