I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
