you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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