I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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