And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
