Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
God I need to hump something, right now.
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