My nipple is on Facebook.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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