I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
