If that was your dad, he is hot
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I stole a fireplace last night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
