i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He better not be in your backpack
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
