Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
