I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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