she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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