But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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