I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
