I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
