I don't usually arrange sex via text message
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
