Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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