is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
