I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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