i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
