god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize