Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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