that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
