So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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