hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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