If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
