nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
