i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
