Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
