No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
