Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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