so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
