My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You have to summon your inner elephant
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Randomize
