she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
