don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
