ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
